Also, since shyness is correlated with neuroticism, shy individuals may have come across as socially anxious, which may have made their dating partner feel uncomfortable.The popularity of the speed-dater was also positively related to the choosiness of that speed-dater, although the correlation was only significant among men (perhaps due to the fact that women on average were choosier than men).To women, being desired for simply having a pulse is an insult, and I refuse to believe that most men don't feel the same way.Interesting article and study overall but in the end, it seems the conclusion is simply that dating is a numbers game, and whether it be Speed Dating or some other means, it's a matter of making enough interactions (meeting new people) to at some point find someone you see some potential with.Most dates don't turn into anything, which means that a man who is way too serious (some would say desperate) makes a woman feel like she's crushing his hopes and dreams if she rejects him.Most people don't want to be put in that situation.This was only relative though: both men and women reported a desire for long-term mating, and most men in this dating context did choose a long-term mating orientation.This suggests that a speed-dating context is one that generally attracts people pursuing long-term mating tactics (or at least report that they do! Sociosexuality and shyness did a better job predicting popularity in this speed dating context than the personality traits extraversion and neuroticism, which are correlated with sociosexuality and shyness, respectively (sociosexuality with extraversion, shyness with neuroticism).
Participants went on a series of 3-minute dates and indicated whom they would like to see again.I think at least one reason sociosexual men do better in speed dating is because they don't take the proceedings too seriously. Someone who's relaxed and willing to take chances on flirting, light teasing, or engaging in off-the-wall humor, or someone who treats a meet and greet like a job interview?This brings to mind many mistakes I've seen shy men make, either mistakes made by my friends or by men who were trying to date me.Speed Dating is great from the perspective that you can meet many people in a short period of time, which makes it much more time efficient than many other dating methods.And at an average cost of per event, that's just dollars a date.This finding was confirmed both after 6 weeks and 1 year after the speed-dating event. For busy people, speed dating may indeed be worth it. © 2010 by Scott Barry Kaufman References Asendorpf, J. Often the quiet or shy ones are overlooked but they are usually the ones who are best suited for long-term relationships and most ready to commit.Mind you, we're not going to get your adrenaline running 24/7 like those other guys but then again we won't treat you like second class citizens more often than not.Additionally, women are at greater risk of being the victim of verbal or physical abuse in retaliation for rejection. A man who acts like the whole thing is no big deal, or a man who professes love on the first date?Even omitting the fear of hurting (or being hurt by) a virtual stranger, shy men still are shooting themselves in the foot by acting like the end result of a relationship is all that matters.These numbers were influenced by the mating orientation of the other sex, however. From dating to mating and relating: Predictors of initial and long-term outcomes of speed-dating in a community sample.The chances of a women mating increased if their partner had a short-term mating orientation, and the chances of a man mating increased if their partner had a long-term mating orientation. It's been in my experience that most women want a man who "is sweet and will treat them with respect and as equals" and yet they will fall head over heels for shallow men simply because they're exciting and a challenege and they believe they can save the guy from his immoral ways.