If both people are playing by the same dating rules, sex can serve as the gateway to a consensual, committed relationship."I thought there were differences between men and women and how they felt about relationships.According to the singles whom Allen has encountered, boomers generally play by far different dating rules than young, 20-something daters.
"If you just want a one-night stand, you owe it to your partner to tell them 'it's just sex I'm after,'" Mc Clary tells Web MD."It becomes much more difficult to objectively see each other's character traits" says Susanne Alexander, a relationship coach and author of Can We Dance? "Some couples then slide into engagement and marriage only to discover they have missed seeing major aspects of each other." While not every dating scenario that involves sex leads to marriage or even a serious relationship, couples do owe it to themselves to talk about where they see their relationship going and how sex might change the relationship -- before they get in bed together. The woman may assume sex implies a commitment; the man may not see it that way," Allen tells Web MD.Having an honest conversation with yourself about sex is just as important as discussing it with your partner, experts say.While you can't apply a one-size-fits-all response to sexual dating rules regardless of age or experience, professionals who have studied the topic say it is a good idea to develop a set of prudent dating rules - before the big date.By and large, Allen and other relationship experts endorse a cautious approach to the dating rules of sex."The risks of STDS have got to be discussed and prevented from spreading," Allen tells Web MD."I say definitely use condoms, even if you're in a committed relationship," she adds.You shouldn’t have to have sex to keep your partner.You may feel comfortable kissing or holding hands but not want to go any further. Deciding whether you want to have sex or when you should is a decision you should make when it feels right for YOU.To that end, Mc Clary often tells women, "If you value a committed relationship, ask yourself, 'What do I need to do to stay emotionally whole?'" When directing her advice on dating rules to a male audience, Mc Clary puts things a little differently.