But when they opt to do so, they show these desires." Another big difference: Men are ready to say "yes" to sex much more quickly than women.
They say they'd need to know a person only a relatively short time before consenting to sex.
Men, she says, already know that they need to appear fit and socially powerful to attract a mate. "Men are looking for youth and beauty in the short term -- women really do know this," Fisher says. It is remarkable how the makeup and clothing industry constantly plays on this.
Makeup makes the face clearer, the eyes bigger, the lips more baby-like red, the hair the sweet light color of youth.
"Human beings' sexual behavior has an awful lot to do with our ability to think and imagine," Williams says.
"There are some primitive brain structures that operate, but our sex behavior is not seasonally driven or hormone driven -- we don't mate only in the spring, or only when the female is in heat.
Men prefer women who are intelligent, too, but not as much." These differences really shouldn't surprise anybody, says Helen E.
This doesn't mean all women will be short-term maters.Or as my college roomie used to say, 'God will throw a sexy woman in your path every six months.' So don't fan any coals that come your way. One member of a relationship has to switch strategies. "People abandon their long-term sex strategy in favor of a short-term strategy because of lust," Williams says. I think the most dangerous thing is to fall in love." The least dangerous kind of an affair, he says, is the kind of one-night stands that happen at a convention or a conference where people part and never meet again.The most dangerous are secret, longstanding affairs that go on for years with fantasies and hopes and dreams of building a relationship. Williams thinks his answer will surprise most men -- and few women.But there's nothing wrong with knowing what you want and going for it, says George Williams, Ph D, an Atlanta-based marital and sex therapist."I help people become conscious of their own desires," Williams tells Web MD."What we found is that when men opt for short-term mating, they pursue larger numbers of partners than women," Schmitt says."When women go short-term mating, they don't go for large numbers. They look for physically attractive men who have masculine facial features.We can use reason in our sex lives." Just because men and women are programmed for promiscuity doesn't make it impossible -- or unnatural -- to have faithful, monogamous, long-term relationships."I tell people to honor their values," Williams says."These differences aren't as conspicuous as those for short-term desires, but they are still quite distinct," Schmitt says."Long term, men prefer youth and physical attractiveness while women prefer men who are somewhat older, intelligent, and ambitious.