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Guests arrive before dinner and are checked in by private security guards, who will turn you away if you’re not on the list. But at the most intimate gatherings, guests will cook dinner together; that way they don’t have to kick out the help after dessert.

Alcohol lubricates the conversation until, after the final course, the drugs roll out. Ecstasy or Molly, known for transforming relative strangers into extremely affectionate friends, is de rigueur, including Molly tablets that have been molded into the logos of some of the hottest tech companies.

Few participants, however, have been willing to describe these scenes to me without a guarantee of anonymity.

If this were just confined to personal lives it would be one thing.

From reports of those who have attended these parties, guests and hosts include powerful first-round investors, well-known entrepreneurs, and top executives.

Some of them are the titans of the Valley, household names. If you are attractive, willing, and (usually) young, you needn’t worry about your résumé or bank account.

But what happens at these sex parties—and in open relationships—unfortunately, doesn’t stay there.

The freewheeling sex lives pursued by men in tech—from the elite down to the rank and file—have consequences for how business gets done in Silicon Valley.

The theme is bondage,’ ” one female entrepreneur told me. Still, the vast majority of people in Silicon Valley have no idea these kinds of sex parties are happening at all.

On special occasions, the guests will travel north to someone’s château in Napa Valley or to a private beachfront property in Malibu or to a boat off the coast of Ibiza, and the bacchanal will last an entire weekend.

The places change, but many of the players and the purpose remain the same.

Some of the women work in tech in the Bay Area, but others come from Los Angeles and beyond, and are employed in symbiotic industries such as real estate, personal training, and public relations.

In some scenarios, the ratio of women to wealthy men is roughly two to one, so the men have more than enough women to choose from.

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