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And the gays were instrumental to that digital boom.The gay apps have fundamentally changed dating — for E V E R Y O N E, the gays, the straights.

Is it the fault of dating apps and the fact most of us meet online — rather than in a gay club?The men were assigned scores based on their responses.There has been a substantial amount of commentary about sexual racism among men who have sex with men but, until now, no one has tried to quantify it.On gay dating apps like Grindr and Scruff, some men post blunt and often offensive disclaimers on their profiles such as “no oldies,” “no fems,” and “no fatties.” Among the most ubiquitous are racial disclaimers like “no blacks” and “no Asians,” which are most frequently posted by white men but, as Edwards’s case proves, not always.Sometimes, men even use foods as metaphors for entire ethnic groups: “No rice” to deter Asian men, “no spice” to keep the Latinos away, and “no curry” to tell Indians they don’t have a shot. ” Others have argued that it is impossible to separate the language of so-called sexual racism from racism in other spheres of life.Men who had experienced racial exclusion in the past were, predictably, more likely to report being bothered by it than men who hadn’t but, still, a staggering 70 percent disagreed with the argument that sexual racism is “a form of racism.” A majority of them perceived racial exclusion as “a problem” but were reluctant to attribute it to racism.“While society is generally pretty comfortable condemning racism, there has been a surprising reluctance among people—gay or otherwise—to challenge racialized sex and dating practices,” Callander told The Daily Beast.The correlation between the men’s online dating attitudes and their QDI scores was even more disappointing, if not unexpected.Eric confronts these men by asking them to explain in detail why they think he passes, a question that would require them to talk about his physical features in uncomfortable detail.“I usually end up with a version of ‘I don’t know, you look kind of white,’ or ‘You seem white,’” he said.Eric’s experience with online dating highlights another troubling possibility raised by the study’s authors, namely, that gay dating services may actually be encouraging men to sort potential partners by race—at least, more brazenly than they would in person. ”For Steve, 28, a white gay man living in Philadelphia, one solution is understanding that the word “racist” applies to more than just, as he put it, the activities of the Ku Klux Klan.“The road to hell is paved with good intentions and ‘I’m not trying to be racist’ does not mean ‘I am not racist,’” Steve told The Daily Beast.In fact, men who used online dating services more frequently were generally more likely to register as racist on the QDI, which might explain why a full 96 percent of the men in the study reported having seen a racially discriminatory profile over the course of their online dating experiences.For gay men like Eric, 30, who lives in Atlanta, navigating the thorny issues surrounding race in the gay community is a disheartening “day-to-day experience.” (Eric asked that his real name not be used for this article.)Eric, who is mixed-race, told The Daily Beast that some men who list “no Asians” on their dating profiles have messaged him anyway, explaining that he is “white enough” for them or that he is attractive to them because he can “pass” as white.

160 comments

  1. Or sex. Love or sex. Maybe both. Probably not neither, if you're here, because you've come to an article about the best gay dating apps.

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  5. So many gay apps are driven toward a singular approach to sex in dating. We are carving out our own path, one that does not need to be.

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