I don't want to debate the legitimacy of transgenderism as that's not what I'm here about and my opinions are not likely to change in that regard.I'm open to discussing the why's and why not's, my view could be changed by a reasonable explanation of why dating sites shouldn't function this way.That differs by person, so where do we draw the line feasibly?Do we make every person upload a detailed profile of everything that someone might care about in a prospective partner and make the results endlessly searchable? As for feeling that trans people owe it to make it known that they are trans from the jump, I don’t agree that they should be obligated to do that.Should we create separate categories for people who have autism or learning disabilities? Besides, isn’t that kind of the premise of dating sites to begin with, that the pool is diverse?They are still around, not because failed dates / matches don’t happen, but because of the possibility of finding someone who likes you for who you are, whatever that may be.I mean, something like that would basically put an expiration date on the relationship.I'd be fine with being a FWB with someone who's sterile, but I'd want to keep myself open to meet someone who isn't.
So if you’re attracted and suddenly lose interest because the person is trans it’s their fault or the dating websites fault?This seems somewhat analogous to a recent CMV post about people with disabilities (e.g. The OP said they felt that a person should have put that they use a wheelchair on their dating profile.The consensus in the comments though seemed to be that a person in a wheelchair shouldn’t HAVE to disclose that about themselves in their dating profile, just as there are many other things a person might not put front and center due to any number of reasons.You might even argue that they are major factors for MOST people. My point is: there are loads of factors that someone might consider “major” when it comes to date-ability.And yet, why should we allow filters for one thing and not another? What is a dealbreaker for you might not be a dealbreaker for someone else.Not only that, but if I'm using a dating site it's fairly likely that I'm looking for a long-term partner that I'd consider having children with, and the fact is that transgender women cannot have children.Therefore, I should be able to filter out transgender women and (though I personally wouldn't) include transgender men.In one case I was already at the bar drinking when they arrived and it was obvious that they were trans and either hoped I wouldn't notice or wouldn't care.In both of the latter cases there's embarrassment, rejection, and a waste of time for both parties - easily avoided by filtering on something that can very much be a dealbreaker for folks like me.So: transgender men and women should have their own separate designations from men and women on dating sites. EDIT: As a clarification, because I seem to have given the impression that I'm somehow obscuring a lack of interest in same-sex relationships, I do not want to sleep with a biological man - which is one more reason for the filter./u/The_Josh_Of_Clubs (OP) has awarded 3 delta(s) in this post.All comments that earned deltas (from OP or other users) are listed here, in r/Delta Log.