Before it went further, I did my routine check of asking, “You know I’m right? I sat in the back seat of my car in complete shock.In that moment, I was mostly concerned about my safety.However, I recently went on a date with a guy who was tall, handsome, funny and had his shit (relatively) together. I responded saying it was all over my Ok Cupid profile, which it turns out he never read.We met in the late afternoon and enjoyed our frozen yogurt in perfect patio weather. At the end of the date, our first kiss quickly turned into a handsy makeout session in the backseat of my car. He said, “I’m bouncing; that’s f-cked up,” and jumped out of the car, spat on the ground, slammed the car door and walked away.Washboard-Abs-No-Face and unsolicited dick pics that most women, unfortunately, receive. Right as a transgender woman (I was born male, but identify and present as female) adds a whole new dimension to digital dating.Since transitioning in I haven’t reacted positively to guys who hit on me in person because I haven’t mastered the art of telling them that we have “the same parts.” For the past three years, Tinder has been my gateway into online dating as a transgender woman.I get plenty of matches on Tinder, but within 24 hours around half of them un-match or block me after reading my profile.
He lied about not having an Instagram account, then when I “came across it” and liked one of his pictures in spite, he blocked me.As I click, message and swipe through the world of online dating, I’ve quickly learned that there are at least three different types of guys: those who fetishize trans women, those who are curious but cautious, and those who simply don’t read.Unfortunately, these labels don’t appear on their profiles.These guys want to chill somewhere less public or exclusively at their place so they won’t be seen with me.I have actually “dated” (if you can even call it that) some of these men, including one guy who checked his apartment’s hallway to make sure his neighbours wouldn’t see me leave his place.As a transgender woman, my relationship with online dating is complicated to say the least.With my accounts on Ok Cupid, Tinder, Hinge, Coffee Meets Bagel and Christian Mingle, I am subjected to the same kind of messages from Mr.After that, I stopped chasing guys who were too concerned about their feelings to even think about mine.Red flags like continually postponing dates and constantly asking, “When are you getting the surgery?With these kind of guys, I’ve felt like I was their dirty little secret, and at first, I thought this type of interaction was the closest thing to a relationship I was going to have as a trans woman.But I finally reached my limit when one of my dates bumped into someone he knew when we were together.