it is not specifically a dating site, but no one objects if you contact people that look interesting. Some advice : first of all, no *censored* picture for your profile picture. second, if you contact someone that looks like you someone might want to talk to don't be an ass about it. Mistymouse ( my nym on either site) I have had 0 luck with Collarspace and Fetlife.be polite, and friendly, like you would be if you were to meet someone at a party. They make me hate myself more than anything, no one ever messages you.If you are a dominant the odds are less daunting, though still against you.Go to events to learn techniques and develop a reputation in the community as a safe player and a decent guy.Most of the single submissive females on Fetlife who are not under 25 range from extremely overweight to obese.I realize that is now the status quo in American society, but it is simply a fact that height and weight proportional people on Fetlife, who are single and looking for someone, are perhaps THE smallest population, um so to speak.
Be careful, a lot of ignorant people and some scammers on Collar Space. Fetlife is more like facebook for kinksters, with a lot of bells and whistles.
Once you pay, none of those people actually reply to any effort you make to contact them. In other words, 100% fake plants that the site employs to make people believe it is an active and successful site.
Worst of all, claims to be a BDSM site, and yet if you are a submissive looking for a dominant the majority of people they "match" you to are also submissives who are looking for dominant partners.
Starting with pros can gain you credibility; most dommes don't want to waste time on total newbies.
But a male submissive has to network relentlessly to get free play and/or find a relationship. To be completely honest, dommes are spoled and a male submissive with little money has little chance with them.