When I met his eyes in the restaurant, my anxiety skyrocketed.
All I could do, during our routine discussion of our jobs and our interests, was nod my head at the right times and laugh when it seemed appropriate.
I also started to date again I’d had boyfriends in high school and dated some in college, and I enjoyed it.
I was as shocked and disappointed as they were when – after happily rounding first and second bases – the actual sex stuff turned out to be so excruciating for me.
I figured that was pretty easy to say when you were able to have sex.
In the past two years – in the hopes of alleviating my pain – I have been to physical therapy, psychological therapy, and started support groups.
They told me there was more to relationships than just sex.My eyelashes were still damp from the tears I shed while talking on the phone with my best friend.“I’m just not someone who is supposed to be loved,” I told her.I have slept with ice on my vagina, tried electric shock therapy and acupuncture, brought my heating pad with me everywhere I go, and used a dilator every morning before work.I have tried to cut out red meat, given up gluten, signed up for more yoga classes, and bought exclusively cotton underwear.It doesn’t help that, since I last had a boyfriend, the line between dating and dating app-enabled casual sex has become very thin.When I say I started dating, really it was just joining Tinder.I opened our text conversation and, for the fifth time in a half hour, typed then deleted my excuse for canceling on him. I looked in the mirror and tried to regain my composure. But it feels a lot more complicated when you’re a straight woman with medical conditions that prevent you from having vaginal intercourse. Women’s magazines and online advice columns never taught me how to handle this.I imagined what it would be like to tell this cute, blue-eyed stranger that no matter how loud he made me laugh or how attentively he listened to my childhood stories, I may never be able to have sex with him. I pushed the thought out of my head, erased the text, grabbed my keys, and walked out the door. As I parked my car, I could feel beads of sweat dotting the back of my neck.Romance Only is the world’s premier online dating site for Sex-C adults seeking romance—committed relationships built on affectionate companionship, physical connection and authentic love….without any expectation of intercourse.We at Romance Only stand in this truth: Intimacy fulfills emotional, spiritual and physical needs, and sexual chemistry isn’t limited to intercourse.