After just one drink, I told the dude I was with that I had to go, put him in a cab, and then sent off a text to my second date, faking a headache.
I marched back into the bar, sat down next to writer guy, and ordered myself a drink.
So, no — Will and I didn’t eventually fall in love.
But we did start sleeping together casually again when we're both single, and he’s actually become a great friend.
My dating life followed a very specific pattern in my early 20s.
Will showed me who he was from the beginning — a funny guy I felt comfortable with who made delicious chicken and dumplings. After being raised on a steady diet of Disney movies, I expected to meet someone and fall passionately in love — but wound up collapsing under the pressures of modern dating.I liked Will, but there was a lot about him that I didn’t want in a relationship.We continued to see one another, but we were explicit about keeping things casual.As much as I liked Will, I knew that there were a lot of ways in which we’d never work as a couple.The passion that made our sex so good also meant we bickered regularly.And while we’d go out to shows and bars together, we agreed that we'd hang just as friends. He’d sing me Johnny Cash songs in a thick southern accent.He hung all of the shelves in my apartment, cooked me chicken and dumplings from scratch, and, real talk, was some of the best sex I’ve ever had. One day, Will told me that he’d met someone he was interested in pursuing seriously, but that he’d end things with her if I wanted to take our relationship to the next level.By projecting my own desires onto our situation rather than hearing and respecting what they had told me at the start, I was setting myself up for heartbreak. The problem wasn’t casual sex, or the fact that it’s what they wanted.The problem was me, and denial (and maybe rom-coms).When I got to the bar to meet my first date, I spotted a really attractive, broody guy in the corner, scribbling in a notebook.My date turned out to be a total dud, but writer guy and I kept making eyes.