A relationship where one spouse is only interested in taking usually does not last very long.People who use porn regularly often have a hard time being gentle during lovemaking. Interesting, considering that gratitude and selfishness are opposites.So, why is there so much confusion about pornography?If you’re ever on social media you’ve probably noticed that there is a lot of debate and contradicting views when it comes to the topic of pornography.Is it any wonder then that it destroys self-esteem?How can anyone live up to to the unrealistic expectations of porn’s perfectly airbrushed, surgically enhanced, and carefully photoshopped bodies?Interestingly enough, twice as many women reported that their porn-watching spouses became more critical and that this criticism made the women less interested in sex.Researches have found that porn consumers eventually compare their spouse or partner and themselves to images of porn models.
It’s most often watched late at night when their spouse is asleep or when they are home alone.Did you know that in 2013 porn sites received 450 million unique monthly visitors?That’s more than Netflix, Amazon, and Twitter combined!In just the couple of months that we’ve been researching and preparing this post, we’ve been amazed at the different, opposing information that is being shared online. I don’t think anyone wants to put their marriage in jeopardy.The truth is, what society is telling us about pornography is totally different from what research is telling us. Here are just a few examples of what social media, magazines and newspapers have to say about porn…However, as we looked at the real research and studies done on pornography, we found very different information! In fact, we’ve heard from several readers that the only reason they “allow” porn in their marriage is to try to save or enhance it.Professors Jennings Bryant and Dolf Zillman have been researching the effects of pornography for more than 30 years and have concluded that when it comes to porn use “no rigorous research demonstrations of desirable effects can be reported.”Or in other words, in all the legitimate research they’ve studied over the years, they have found NO benefits to pornography- only damage. Jill Manning found that 56% of divorce cases involved one party having an “obsessive interest in pornographic websites.” Similarly, the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers polled 350 divorce attorneys in 2003, where two-thirds of them reported that the internet played a significant role in the divorces, with excessive interest in online porn contributing to more than half of such cases.So, what is it about pornography that is leading to divorce? According to numerous studies, prolonged exposure to pornography leads to a diminished trust between intimate couples. After all, pornography and secrecy go hand in hand.The user focuses solely on getting and taking when he wants.In contrast, true marital intimacy is a giving of oneself.Users are careful to lock doors, erase their internet history, and keep files and videos hidden with passwords.Spouses are shocked and feel betrayed when they find out because they were so easily kept in the dark.