The group most critically in need of transparency from the sex addict - his or her potential partners - are completely ignored.
These are the people who will ultimately pay the price should the sex addict act out or "fail" in seeking a happily ever after.
Here the experienced therapist can be of huge assistance by reminding the sex addict that dating is not a race, nor a competition, but rather an adventure into the complete unknown where everything the addict thought they knew about intimacy turned out to be false, and a whole new universe must open up in order to move forward. Before recovery, the sex addict made decisions independently, choosing who to date, whom to have sex with, who to contact and what acts to participate in.With a dismal (and dubiously determined) recovery rate, it should be criminal to support dating efforts with people who have not been fully informed of what the sex addict brings to the table in terms of risk.The author never said potential victims don't deserve full disclosure.However, once in therapy, there inevitably comes a day when the sex addict is ready to embark on that daunting journey we call dating.For a man who has spent years, if not decades, relating to porn actresses on a computer screen, encountering a flesh and blood partner can seem unpredictable and terrifying.When to reveal is something that the addict and their sponsor would discuss. Not everyone will understand, or some people may abuse the person's addiction.(You might remember the silly scenario on Desperate Housewives...well, it happens.) Anyway, I believe in full disclosure..the timing is subjective.Also, in slaa, sex is meant to be delayed deliberately.If a person has the addiction and is rushing into sex, they are not practicing sober dating.If the "victim" is rushing into sex, they are setting themselves up (whether the sex is with an addict or not, imo.).This article is about sober dating, and what it should look like.