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But the Bible does not promise that God will provide a loving relationship for you while you sit around and do nothing.But, as in all things, it's best to ask for his guidance.Falling in love before you got married or engaged is a twentieth-century concept. In college, I had an older professor from Japan whose marriage had been arranged.He made fun of modern dating, saying, "By the time you get married now, the fun is over.There are some myths out there that people assume to be gospel about dating, especially among Christians.Christian culture is like any other in that we develop truisms that we accept without verifying.We no longer have rituals of courtship and arranged marriage to guide us every step of the way. It's also spawned a whole range of opinions and advice on how to handle dating.

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Once they've done that, God increases his sustaining presence.Before that, strict courtship rituals governed the path to marriage.Whom you married wasn't even up to you most of the time.This may be the biggest excuse men use for being lazy in relationships, much less finding one.German theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer addresses this issue in a wedding sermon he wrote for his sister from a Nazi jail cell.He says that God joins the relationship between a man and a woman at the point of marriage.Before that, the couple has to take the initiative.Though God won't do all the work for you, he'll be with you every step of the way.The good news is that most men don't have a problem with this.-23), you are bound to make much better decisions in dating situations. The Bible provides some crucial relational principles but doesn't address the specifics. You can't follow antiquated courtship rituals anymore. Asking a woman's father if you can date his daughter without consulting her first might be a good way to never get a first date.) You also don't have a scriptural field manual that tells you how to behave in every situation.Your head and your heart should be in Scripture at all times, but you won't find specific guidelines for dating. The answer isn't in the Bible (though the Song of Solomon sure gives us a clue). It's up to you to be in prayer and conversation with your Christian community about these things. I thought my wife was out of my league when I met her.

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