Up until this, I thought things were okay in our marriage, though of course we haven’t had much couple time with the demands of four children but this discovery has come as a bolt out of the blue.
It wouldn’t have been as bad if he was just accessing porn, as I know men do this, but the fact that he was talking to other people has really disgusted me.
To continue with this process you may wish to seek marriage counselling ( relationshipsireland.com, accord.ie).
There is a good chance of success for the two of you, if your husband accepts responsibility for what he has done and if the two of you are willing to work hard on improving your marriage.
Improving the marriage The discovery of your husband’s online world is a crisis in your marriage but it can also represent an opportunity.
You could see this as a “wake-up call in your marriage to examine problems in the communication between the two of you and to address this.
In addition, try to have at least one special evening a week when you get a baby-sitter when you can do some new things together. The biggest prize of a successful marriage is closeness and intimacy – which allow a couple to accept and support one another on a deep level.
Moving forward In the aftermath of discovering your husband’s online world, it is perfectly understandable that you might feel disgusted and betrayed and to worry as to how much you can trust your husband.
You might benefit from going to counselling especially if you feel traumatised and need to the help of an impartial listener to process some of the feelings.
Take some time out together You can also take action at home to improve your marriage on a daily basis.
For example you can prioritise a daily talking time with your husband when you share how each of you are doing.