If they get huffy about it or don't listen, remember that their presence is entirely optional, and you don't have to keep going.
If you kick them out or leave their place, you can finish the job on your own if you want.
It can take women’s bodies a while to tick off all the physiological ready-for-sex markers, like higher blood flow to the genitals and amped up vaginal lubrication.
If someone put a 0 bill and a bill in front of you, which would you choose?
“One of the benefits of casual sex is that it’s good practice for partnered sex you may have later,” says Kerner.
If something’s not quite working for you, Brown-James recommends suggesting exactly what you would like rather than simply being like, “lol, stop.” It’s a little kinder on your hookup’s ego while still getting what you want.
If you're going at it in missionary position with a dude, this move gives your clitoris a little more attention.
To do it, make a small tweak by having the guy scoot his body up a little bit.
“In partnered relationships, a lot of women who don’t orgasm during sex are very comfortable taking out a vibrator in order to finish.“Whether it’s a hookup or long-term relationship, the more you know your own body and the types of stimulation that feel good, the better,” says Kerner.If you don’t know what you like on your own, it’s much harder to orgasm during sex when there are quite literally all these moving parts. It could mean having an electric, intellectually stimulating debate about whether Pluto still deserves to be a planet. “Starting arousal earlier than any kind of penetrative sex is important,” says Brown-James.It's so much easier to orgasm if you're not dealing with a random asshole interrupting your flow.Maybe you don't feel like speaking up, or even after your flawless instruction they aren’t quite getting it, or they shrugged off your tips but you're fine continuing. You can still reach orgasm since you ** know what works for you.Another great thing about casual hookups is that there’s absolutely no reason to feel guilty for fantasizing about someone other than whoever’s in front of you (not that you ever should, but it happens).Plus, in most cases, this random person you picked up won't quite be your own personal Adonis or Aphrodite. “Fantasies can shut off anxiety during sex,” says Kerner.Consider those negative feelings orgasm kryptonite. “Being able to shut down anxiety or stress is crucial for women trying to have an orgasm,” says Kerner.As long as everything is safe and consensual, you’re well within your rights to do whatever you want!“Using your hands [on yourself] can be a really big turn-on,” says Brown-James.“And it’s a great idea because most women need clitoral play to have an orgasm.” If you can get off from penetration, great, but don’t only strive for that kind of orgasm if your body can feel awesome in other ways.