Edit: If you're a virgin your body is going to be so excited to have sex the first time you're going to be rubbish. I want to keep up with helping out but I can't respond to every pm as well as I would like. They are the self-entitled ones who believe that food should fly in their mouths, and that their great inner values are enough to become great, no work needed. The most ridiculous and sexist concept I have ever heard of. But that doesn't change the matter: If you believe that somebody else to love you because you do something nice for them; if you believe that somebody else needs to feel a certain way because of things you do - then you are an idiot. Maybe you are just unlucky, there are a few of those - but, if you are honest with yourself, the chance that you are one of them is small. Bad for you that you say yes to all those donuts and chips. You avoid that donut and in return you wake up in the morning and your trousers fit. And then as far as dressing nice--fuck, some people figure out a cool style, other people look in magazines/clothing websites and try to find examples of stuff they're not totally embarrassed wearing that seems to fit in with the current style.You can't expect to be an expert at something you're just trying for the first time. Don't watch porn to learn how to do this, read some of the great posts here about it. I thought a subreddit where other Dads could pitch in might be helpful. Sure, there might be one or two who would deserve better luck - but likely, when you are honest with yourself, you are probably not one of them. Yes, it's now applied in both directions, but traditionally it is that a woman "puts" a "nice" guy in the friendzone. If you are unhappily in the friendzone - you are an idiot, plain and simple. Is there a "fair" universe - where fair means biased in your favour - that gives you all the things you want? If you are on Reddit whining about your lack of friends or partner or your horrible job - then consider for a moment whether you are part of the problem, whether it is not your fault rather than the rest of the world being rude to you. Most people are socialised in this "get it all" society. You start reading a book on French and the next day you can talk fluently. But yeah, the breezy way Prolapsed Pineal describes all this is the sort of explanation that can only come from a dude who's been married for 20 years with stable friends/relationships for that long and completely forgets how tough it is building that stuff in the first place.That you deserve that awesome woman or man that you only dare to stare at from a distance. You spend your nights all at home playing video games and still you expect to be able to have interesting discussions with other people? You don't deserve good things, you work for them. I've been working on getting back into shape and taking care of myself, but I've been in good shape before and I've always made an effort, its mostly just been a matter of confidence. You talk about getting hobbies and passions, well, you can't just chose to be passionate about something.
I'm almost old enough to be your dad and my boy and I talk pretty regularly about how the world works so I hope you don't take offense to my tone, it's meant to be helpful. Not that PUA shit, things that actually make you a better person, not a manipulative jackass. Even if your face is a mess, if you take care of yourself it tells someone else "this is a guy that takes care of himself". Now that you're a good communicator, have healthy self esteem, and have become more physically active we need to talk about your career. Polish your shoes, or at least clean your sneakers if that's your thing. In the more moderate cases, things like finding a friend/relative you trust to talk about how you feel and simple meditation can help you sort out why your relationships are the way they are.
No expectations...good grammar and full sentences go a long way. Many men put together a standard message and then send to every possible girl hoping to get a response. It's like sending out the same resume to every job you apply for regardless of what the job posting asks for.edit: When a girl says she's really not interested, don't bother being "persistent". Almost any major metropolitan area will favour Po F or Ok Cupid. And if you believe there is, if you believe you are entitled to something, to anything - then you are, plain and simple, an idiot. Do you believe that you deserve things to be better? Then, my friend, you need to learn that the world is not a good and gentle place. Do everything you can with your hands and your mouth to drive her over the top.
I always have a few guys contact me every day that I've already rejected..if she has expressed interest and she's just not taking the next step to meet up, then persistance with respect and patience goes a long way. Obviously you need to be respectful, understand sexual dynamics/game, but it's a lot simpler. But for those things that any person dreams of - a good partner, a nice place, a good job and a healthy social life, and for most other dreams that people might hold: You are not magically entitled to have it. Touch and lick and play with all the bits, eat her like a hungry puppy with a steak, work those nipples like you're trying to tune in the playoffs on a cheap radio in a canyon, make her beg for mercy, then don't stop.
I am one of the 2 women that are real and do meet up for sex with men.
She probably has about 10 guys she's thinking of meeting, but she'll want to meet the guy that wants her the most.